What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 23.06.2025 10:10
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
It was going to be , some day.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
This is soul school!.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
When Kundalini is awakened accidentally, what can be done?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
What did i know ?
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
My boyfriend won’t tell me his past and it hurts me so I broke up with him what do I do?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She was in good health!
We were not on the streets..
Are landlords allowed to make unreasonable requests?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Why do older men like to get anal sex?
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I never cut or harmed myself..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Is AI secretly replacing your job right now without you knowing it? What do you think? Do you agree?
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Especially a lifetime of it.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I Discovered I Got Cheated On. But His Story About That Night Isn’t Adding Up. - Slate Magazine
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Backstage Report On WWE Raw Talent Being Discussed For Worlds Collide Appearance - Wrestling Inc.
So, i spoilt her more .
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
So whats the point in blame.
US growth likely to slow to 1.6% this year, hobbled by Trump's trade wars, OECD says - ABC News
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
4 food types to avoid for people with fatty liver disease - VnExpress International
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
We all went to grammer schools
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
What is your favourite photo with your mother?
When she asked me how she looked .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She married twice! .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Would this be the day?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Was to survive, this bastard.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But, we were locked up after school.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I don,t even have a pension.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And i lived it daily.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I was very sick at this time too.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
One cannot live in the past .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Put me off passion for life!!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She found it foreign!.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I have no regrets .
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I will be 64.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She loved him until the end.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She wouldn,t have been !
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I was seconnd youngest,
I was 9 years of age.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
All the time i was locked up.
Im still living with it.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Ive learnt so much.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I waited trembling.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My family never makes their pension either.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
As i do to all so called friends.?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But it wasn’t much.
I said to her
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
My life is so biszare .
Who then, do I blame.?
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I write beautiful poetry .
He knew the spot.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Comes on , in middle age.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I think the readers, may guess!
I was scared of men, in general